Tips for separated dads Part 2

Here are some more tips for separated dads from Bruce Robinson, founder of The Fathering Project. Listen to the podcast or read the transcript below.

Tips for separated dads Part 2

In The Fathering Project, we get a lot of questions from dads who are separated. We’ve got a few tips:

The first tip is: keep your promises. If you say you’re going to spend time with your children, keep that promise. It breaks their heart if you don’t.

The second tip is really hard, I have to admit, but it’s showing respect for their mother. Don’t take the opportunity to put their mother down with their kids.

The third is: stay in touch, and use modern technology to do it. Texting, emailing, all sorts of ways you can stay in touch with your kids, now, even though you’re not physically there.

The fourth tip is: please don’t do the “good cop, bad cop” thing. You’re still their parent; kids don’t need another friend, but they always need parents not more pals.

And the final tip is this: don’t just hang around waiting for the time when you’ll get custody of the kids – the weekend or whatever. Get a life, otherwise you’re at risk of that terrible thing called over-parenting. That’s too much pressure on the kids for them to be your entertainment, and it’s a bad role model for an imbalanced life.

Get a life and involve them.

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Keep a record

Make a note of things about your visit with the children that went well, and things that didn’t. Try to repeat the good things, and make changes to reduce the chances of the not so good things happening again.


Cherish everyday moments

Cherish the everyday moments together at home.