Dad Jokes

  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  • What do you call a baguette in the zoo? Bred in captivity.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with. 
  • What do you call an elephant who doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  • What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  • I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
  • Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
  • Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”

Tips:

Being a good father starts with a good mother

The parenting styles of both your mother and father have influenced how you bring up your children. Consciously identify the good aspects of your parenting experiences to incorporate into your own fathering.

Resources:

Dennis Lillee

Dennis Lillee, former Australian test cricketer, is a great dad to his two kids. Listen to this podcast to find out how.