Dad Jokes

  • Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
  • What do you call a baguette in the zoo? Bred in captivity.
  • What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
  • Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
  • Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with. 
  • What do you call an elephant who doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  • Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
  • Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
  • What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  • I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
  • Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn’t know it was on fire.
  • Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, “No, just leave it in the carton!”

Tips:

Children need good father figures

Look for opportunities to be a father figure to other kids – nieces, nephews, your children’s friends, etc.

Tips:

Really listen to your children – they will notice!

Remove distractions, focus on your child, and listen to what they are saying.