This Monday, Fathering Project founder Bruce Robinson talks through one of our founding principles, BUS.
BUS encompasses three essential ways that dads can provide the support that kids need.
‘Being there’ isn’t necessarily being WITH them more often – it’s about being THERE for them at all times. As Bruce explains, “you might sometimes be on their case, but you will always be on their side.”
As carers, life coaches, guiders and discipliners we show our kids many sides of ourselves. In amongst everything it’s important that your kids know that there are no conditions on your love.
Make sure they know that your love doesn’t depend on grades, performance, what they like, dislike or what they’re good – be clear that the love you have for them is independent of their behaviour or performance, nothing will stop you loving them.
‘Special’ is about helping your children feel worthwhile. Help them see their unique abilities and quirks as assets to be proud of, and to believe in their potential.
The best way to do this is by making one-on-one time for them, pointing out the things that make you proud of them, and being genuinely interested in their hobbies.
While practicing BUS, Bruce’s rule of thumb is ‘don’t assume’. Tell them once, tell them twice and keep telling them that you will always be there, that you will always love them, and that they are special and worthwhile.
Dr Bruce Robinson is the founder of The Fathering Project – see more from Bruce
If you or your children are struggling
Kids can call Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 or Youth Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or you can contact your child’s GP. If you are struggling, call Lifeline on 131 114, or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.
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