Father’s Day is a time to celebrate the dads, stepdads, grandfathers, father figures and other important men in our lives.

But it can also be an opportunity to do something simple and meaningful: check in with a dad and ask how he’s really going.

Being a dad can come with a lot to carry. There may be work and financial pressures, relationship challenges, caring responsibilities and the everyday demands of supporting a family. Amid all of that, making time for their own mental health and wellbeing can sometimes be difficult.

And while a dad might look like he has everything under control, that doesn’t necessarily tell us how he’s feeling.

Having genuine conversations with people we’re concerned about is important: ask how they’re going, listen to what they have to say, offer support and continue checking in.

This Father’s Day, we’re asking you to share your Care Factor, and checkin with a dad.

Don’t wait until something is wrong

Sometimes we notice changes in someone close to us. They may seem quieter than usual, withdraw from friends or family, appear overwhelmed, or simply not seem like themselves.

But you don’t have to know that something is wrong before you check in.

Beyond Blue advises that simply asking someone how they’re going can be a good way to begin a conversation about their mental health. If you have noticed changes that concern you, you can also explain what you’ve noticed and ask how they are feeling.

Importantly, you don’t need to be a mental health professional to start the conversation. You’re not there to diagnose someone or solve a problem.

You’re there to show that you care and are willing to listen.

1. Find the right moment

Think about when and where you start the conversation.

Choose a time when you’re both calm and unlikely to be interrupted, somewhere the other person feels comfortable.

For some dads, talking while doing something together may feel more natural than sitting down for a formal conversation. It could be while going for a walk, driving somewhere, having a coffee or doing something around the house.

Most importantly, choose a moment when you have enough time to genuinely listen.

2. Ask – and be prepared to ask again

“How are you?” is something we ask all the time, which means “good” or “fine” can easily become the automatic response.

Try asking an open question that gives him an opportunity to say more.

You might ask:

• “How have things been for you lately?”
• “How are you, really…?”
• “You’ve had a lot going on. How are you handling it all?”
• “How are you going outside of all the work and family stuff?”
• “You haven’t seemed quite yourself lately. How are things?”

If the first answer is “I’m fine”, you can gently ask another question. We also encourage dads to ask the second question…

There’s no perfect script. Showing genuine concern matters more than finding exactly the right words.

3. Listen – without immediately trying to fix things

If a dad does open up, resist the urge to immediately solve the problem.

Listen to understand rather than making assumptions, criticising or dismissing what someone is experiencing. Reflect back what you’ve heard to make sure you’ve understood.

Give him time to talk and acknowledge what he tells you.

You could say:

“That sounds really tough.”

“It sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate.”

“Thanks for telling me.”

You can also ask:

“Do you want me just to listen, or would it help to think about what you could do next?”

Sometimes being heard is the support someone needs in that moment.

4. If needed, ask directly about his mental health

If you’re concerned, don’t be afraid to ask about mental health directly.

For example:

“How have you been feeling in yourself lately?”

“Are you coping okay with everything that’s going on?”

If he says he’s struggling, take what he tells you seriously and keep listening.

He may not want to talk the first time you ask. That’s okay too. Let him know you’re there if and when he does want to talk, and check in again.

5. Ask what would actually help

Support can be emotional, but it can also be practical.

Ask him how they would like to be supported rather than assuming you know what they need.

Try asking:

“What would make things a little easier this week?”

The answer might be having someone listen. It could also be taking the kids for a couple of hours, sharing a meal, helping with something around the house, getting out for a walk or simply having some company.

A specific offer of help can sometimes be easier to accept than “let me know if you need anything”.

6. Encourage action when more support is needed

There are some conversations that friends and family shouldn’t have to manage alone.

If a dad tells you he has been struggling, encourage him to consider additional support. This might include speaking with his GP or connecting with a mental health service.

Being positive about the role professional support can play and offering to help the person connect with the right service.

Rather than saying, “You need to get help”, you could try:

“It sounds like you’ve been carrying this for a while. Would it help to talk to someone about it?”

Or:

“I’m happy to help you find someone to talk to if you want.”

You might help him make an appointment, find a service or check in with him afterwards.

7. Check in again

One conversation is a starting point, not necessarily the end of the story.

Send a message a few days later. Ask how something he mentioned is going. Invite him for another coffee or walk.

It can be as simple as:

“I’ve been thinking about what you told me the other day. How are you going?”

Following up shows that the first conversation wasn’t just a passing question – you meant it when you said you were there.

This Father’s Day, make checking in part of the celebration, share your care factor.

Father’s Day can mean different things to different people.

For some dads, it’s a joyful day. For others, it may come alongside grief, separation, relationship difficulties, financial pressures, loneliness or complicated family circumstances.

We don’t always know what someone else is carrying.

So this Father’s Day, check in with a dad in your life.

Ask. Listen. Offer support. Encourage further help when it’s needed. And check in again.

You don’t need to have all the answers or be a counsellor.

Sometimes one of the most valuable things we can do is make it clear that someone doesn’t have to handle everything alone.

Where to find support

If you or a dad you know could use additional support, Australian mental health organisations and services include:

Beyond Blue – mental health information, resources and support, including guidance for supporting someone with their mental health.

R U OK? – practical resources to help people start and continue meaningful conversations with someone who may be struggling.

MensLine Australia – counselling and support specifically for men, including support around mental health, relationships, family and wellbeing.

Lifeline – crisis support and suicide prevention services.

A GP can also be a good starting point for discussing mental health concerns and accessing further professional support.

If you believe someone is in immediate danger, contact emergency services on Triple Zero (000).