Helping your child to self-reflect

Self-reflection is a vital skill that helps children develop self-awareness, understand their emotions, and make more informed decisions. Teaching children to self-reflect gives them tools to understand themselves and build resilience, empathy, and emotional intelligence.

Here are six tips to introduce self-reflection techniques to children:

  1. Lead by example

Children learn best by example, so modelling self-reflection is a powerful way to teach it. Share your thought process when making decisions or reflecting on an experience. For example, if you’ve had a challenging day, you could say, “I’m thinking about what made me feel frustrated and how I can handle it differently tomorrow.” Showing them that adults reflect on their feelings and actions makes the concept relatable and accessible for them.

  1. Encourage journaling or drawing as a reflection activity

Encourage your child to journal or draw about their day, their emotions, or experiences they found meaningful. This practice can help children express themselves and process their thoughts visually or verbally. For younger children, drawing is often easier, while older children might prefer writing. Journaling is known to improve emotional regulation and allows kids to recognise patterns in their feelings and actions over time.

  1. Introduce guided reflection

Introduce mindfulness exercises to promote self-reflection. You might guide them through a reflection by asking questions like, “What made you happy today?” or “Is there anything you would do differently if you could?” Practicing mindfulness can also improve attention and reduce stress, giving kids a clearer mind to reflect on their experiences.

  1. Use storytelling and open-ended questions

Stories, whether from books or everyday life, can help children think about values, choices, and consequences. After reading a story, ask open-ended questions like, “Why do you think the character felt that way?” or “What would you have done in their situation?” This technique allows children to explore different perspectives and reflect on what matters to them in a safe and structured way.

  1. Teach the ‘stop-think-act’ technique

Encourage children to pause before reacting, think about how they feel, and decide on their response. The “Stop-Think-Act” method is an easy way for kids to remember to reflect before they act. Practising this technique helps them become more intentional about their actions, fostering a habit of self-reflection during emotional moments. Research has shown that teaching children to pause and think leads to better emotional control and improved decision-making.

  1. Reflect together on daily experiences

At the end of each day, take a few minutes to talk with your child about their day. Ask them to share a high point, a challenge, or something they learned. These conversations help children process their day and make connections between their actions and outcomes. For example, you might ask, “What made you feel proud today?” or “Was there something you found challenging?” Over time, these discussions will reinforce a habit of self-reflection, giving them confidence in assessing their experiences.

 

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