Talking to your kids about healthy relationships is important for their development.
Both dads and mums play an important role in having age-appropriate conversations to educate their sons and daughters about how to be respectful and expect respect.
Modelling healthy relationships for kids will help influence the people they surround themselves with and the types of romantic relationships they enter as they grow older.
Fathers in particular play an important part in teaching sons about respecting women, and this starts in the home. They also influence their daughters and have an opportunity to ‘set the bar’ high and teach daughters what it means to have a respectful partner.
Further to this, positive parent relationships contribute to domestic violence prevention. Negative parent-child relationships can teach aggressive behaviours among children, while positive parenting, close relationships with a non-violent parent, and effective family communication can be protective against domestic violence.
Children model the behaviour from what they see and experience at home.
“To teach respect, dads have to model it, and in particular respect for women, model it with the child’s mother. But also be explicit, “You are not treating your sisters well, that is not on, that is not a value of ours.” – Dr Bruce Robinson
Early conversations with kids about healthy and unhealthy relationships will help to influence their choices later in life. Young people need to understand what it means to be respected and respectful in the context of friendship or a romantic relationship so they can establish their own set of values.
“We know that the more securely attached and the more love a child feels before five, the more chance they are growing to grow up to be capable of loving unconditionally.” – Maggie Dent – Parenting Author and Educator
As a father you are uniquely placed to demonstrate strength and gentleness. This is important because those children whose fathers’ parent with warmth and love will have the best outcomes.
Top tips for Talking to Your Kids About Healthy Relationships
- Talk about healthy and unhealthy relationships. Discuss together what a healthy friendship or relationship should look like. Caring, respect, honesty, consent, equality, fun. Discuss what an unhealthy relationship might look like. Controlling, uncaring, no respect, dishonesty, pressure, etc
- Model respectful behaviour. A father signals to a boy how he should behave towards women. Treat your partner/wife in the same way you would want your son to treat them. If you are not together at least show respect and kindness.
- Model respectful relationships. One aspect of being nurturing is showing daughters fatherly affection, such as hugs, holding her hand or a kiss on the cheek.
- Be gentle but firm if your son in disrespectful. If you notice your son is acting disrespectfully to a woman, be gentle and firm with your words and discipline. For example, ‘don’t speak to your mother in that tone of voice’.
- Teach about consent. Boys must know that they should not touch a woman without her explicit consent.
- Role model unconditional love, by showing your children that their behaviours do not influence the love they receive. This will the influence their romantic relationships later in life.
- Role model positive, healthy relationships. Your children are learning from the relationships you have with other family members, friends, your partner, and your children.
Liked this article? Read more on our general parenting advice blog.
Check out the seven-part video series with Maggie Dent and Dr Bruce Robinson.
