Peer influence is pressure that comes from a peer or peer group, that encourages someone to change or maintain their attitudes, values, or behaviours to match to theirs. Peer pressure can be either negative (peer pressure) or positive (peer support). Teenagers are very sensitive to peer pressure because they want to fit in and be accepted by their peers.

Positive peer pressure (Peer support)

Often when we hear about peer influence, we think of peer pressure and the negative power, but peer pressure can be really positive and healthy for your teenager as well. Teenage peer friendship groups can reinforce positive behaviours and attitudes as well. When they have a good core group of friends who look after each other and do the right thing, it can help keep them on track. Positive peer groups care about each other, treat each other with respect and encourage each other to make good choices.

Negative peer pressure

One of the main reasons young people give in to peer influence, is because they fear they will lose their friendships or not be accepted by the group. Teens who feel isolated or rejected by their peers are more likely to engage in risky behaviours in order to fit in. In such situations, peer pressure can damage good judgment and encourage risk-taking behaviour, drawing a teenager away from the family and positive influences and luring them into dangerous activities.

Some teenagers will risk being grounded or losing their parents’ trust just to try and fit in with their peers. Sometimes, teenagers will change the way they dress, their friends, their values or create new values, depending on the people they hang around with.

Top tips for talking with your teen about peer pressure

• Help them practice saying “no.” Role-play scenarios where your teen might feel pressured, and help them come up with confident ways to say no – without losing face.
• Celebrate their good decisions. If they chose not to go along with the crowd, give them credit. Reinforcing their confidence helps them do it again next time.
• Stay curious, not critical. If they make a poor choice, ask questions to understand the “why” before jumping to conclusions. Teens open up more when they feel safe, not judged
• If peer influence is making them feel like they should act in a generally positive way, to do something that feels right, or to do something that doesn’t hurt yourself or anyone else, going along is okay.
• If peer influence is making them feel like they should do something they know is wrong, or to do something they feel uncomfortable about then they need to think carefully about their choices and decide whether it is really worth doing.
• Going along with a healthy group of friends can be okay, as long as following the group doesn’t cause you to act without thinking about how you really feel about the situation yourself.
• A good rule is if it makes you feel bad about it, it is probably bad for you